#3 - The Texas Rangers

Everyone loves a bridesmaid. Right? That's how the saying goes. I think. I don't really have a mind for sayings, nor do I really want one. But, the Texas Rangers have been the Maid of Honor for the last two seasons. They've been the Quagmire to the Peter, the Sundance to the Butch Cassidy, the Tonto to the Lone Ranger, the silly, bumbling Frankie, to the dashing, heart throb Eric. God that Eric is one hot tamale. But enough about Eric and his startlingly good looks and charm, it's time to pay attention to that other also ran, the Rangers.

The Rangers have been the 2012 University of Kentucky Wildcats over the last two years. They've been a seeming juggernaut for the past two years, and won the past two AL pennants, which were their first two in the history of their franchise. Unfortunately, they fell short both times, once to the upstart San Francisco Giants, and once to the upstart St. Louis Cardinals. That's right, those damn foreign cities, like that damn Katniss from that upstart district 12, have gotten the best of the Capitol that represents the Texas Rangers.

First of all, I saw Hunger Games with Frankie. Second, my analogy makes way more sense and he should have not used it because the Pirates are terrible. And third, there's no way in hell the Pirates should be ranked ahead of the A's in power rankings on ESPN. But the biggest point here, is that the Rangers are still really, really good. The odds are definitely in their favor. That's right. The Rangers, the team that was borderline hilarious for most of their history until the last three years, has become something of an equivalent to the evilness that is the Yankees.

It's 3-2 After Five

Wait, of course it is. That's the only way it could be without it being over. Fantastic. I told Frankie I'd post something tonight. So here's something.

The Cardinals, after scoring 16 runs in game 3, have scored two in the last 18 innings. Albert Pujols, after hitting three home runs in his last three at bats in game three, has gone hitless over the last two games. The Cardinals one and two hitters in this World Series: 3 for 37. So how are the Rangers and their vaunted offense winning this World Series? PITCHING.

After the game three debacle, the Rangers have given up only 2 runs, highlighted by Holland's eight and one third innings of scoreless ball. Why did the Rangers lose last year? Pitching. Derek Holland, in game two last year, threw thirteen balls in a row. That's right. Thirteen. He has gone from the goat to the stud.

Seriously, this guy is winning World Series games

The Rangers are still hitting, but not a ton, scoring eight runs in the last two games.

I mentioned to Frankie today that this was an interesting World Series in that the two teams earned their spot based on their superior hitting over the course of the year. But that's not what's happening in this fall classic. Except for the anomaly that was game three, this series has been all about pitching.

Yeah, we haven't had the Lee vs. Lincecum matchup, or the Sabathia v. Halladay matchup, or even the Verlander vs. Kennedy matchup. However, it is the Derek Hollands of the world that are keeping the likes of Pujols and Holliday at bay. It's not like the Cardinals are pitching that poorly. They are pitching to their potential. The Rangers have just shown up with the extra pitching boost a team needs to take home the glory.

However, we now return to St. Louis. The Rangers no longer have the DH. On paper, though the Cardinals are now on the ropes, they'll still have every opportunity to win, thanks to CJ Wilson giving up a bomb to Prince Fielder back in July. Home field advantage means a lot. Especially because they'll have a working bullpen phone.

Can we pause and think about that for a moment. The bullpen coach of the Cardinals heard "Lynn" when LaRussa supposedly said "Motte", leading to a parade of pitchers in the eighth inning. I find this misunderstanding hard to believe. This is not a situation like in Houston where they have 4 guys named Rodriguez. These are two completely different names, with different language origins. The great LaRussa mismanaged and won't bite a bullet. Whoops.

Game 6, Wednesday night, is going to be a boatload of fun. Jamie Garcia will square off against Colby Lewis once more. I think this series goes seven. There's no reason not to. Let's enjoy the last bit of baseball while we can, because if the Saints, Ravens, and Raiders games this weekend were any indication of what the rest of the NFL season is going to be, we're in for a long winter.

Screw it if I've already used this, it's a great song.

5 Reasons Why the Rangers Will Win the World Series

We apologize for abandoning you all the last two weeks. Things have been busy and hectic in our lives, and as much as we wanted to bring you the news, puns, and inanity you crave, we just weren't able to get the job done. We're sorry. We hope you come back for our regular posts this fall. Where we speak mostly of football and college sports. Things that make both Frankie and I pull our hair out. Oh what fun.

A great amount has happened over the past two weeks. I will not pretend to even begin glossing over it here. For now, all that matters is that the Cardinals and Rangers will square off the World Series that very few Bay Area people wanted to see. Still, it's the Fall Classic. So it's time to grab some beers, a couch, a pizza, and your best friend, and watch the culmination of the long, wacky, and wonderful 2011 Major League Baseball Season.

So, much like we did for the Superbowl last winter, Frankie and I will take opposing sides of this year's World Series. It has been left to me why the Texas Rangers, in their second consecutive appearance, will prove victorious over the Cardinals. And I will do so in five fun and easy steps. Kind of like AA, except without any problems. Because look, though Frankie is going to make valid arguments, let's be real, Texas has this one. Please, enjoy.

AL Division Series Preview

It's time for postseason baseball. 162 games have been played by 30 teams, and all but eight have been eliminated. The final four in each league begin play Friday night in order to cut that number in half. The American league features the perennial contender New York Yankees, as well as the reigning AL Champion Texas Rangers. Joining them are the Detroit Tigers, and the "Team of Destiny" Tampa Bay Rays.

Four solid teams go in, two will square off for the pennant. Let's look at which teams should come out on top. It's gonna be one amazing October.

A's v. Rangers Series Recap

"God has smiled upon you this day. The fate of a nation, in your hands. And blessed all the children be, who fight with all their bravery. Til only the righteous stand."

This lyric, from "South Park: The Movie" kind of sums up the series nicely as far as I'm concerned. The A's played a great game Monday, a not so great game Tuesday and then got bailed out by a timely rainstorm on Wednesday. When it was all said and done, the A's split the series 1-1 against the Rangers, and return home tomorrow with a 3-2 road trip. They still sit at 19-18, tied for second in the AL West.

Mascot/Team Name Royal Rumble

Sometimes I get to thinking. Though this usually has negative results, every once in a while an idea passes across my frontal lobe that's just too amazing to ignore. During an A's game last week, a few friends and I got to talking about how baseball mascots, as a whole, are none too threatening. But what if we had a mascot playoffs? We take the 8 leanest, meanest mascots (read: team names), and put them in a royal rumble with each other. Let's see who comes out on top.

A's v. Rangers Recap: GODZILLA STRIKES

Hello friends. Good to see you. While Frankie laments over the struggles of the Giants, I get to tell you how the A's have kind of looked like the Giants of September 2010, aka, WINNING.



As I sit here watching the remaining moments of the Lakers-Mavericks game, I still am reliving Cotroneo's call from this afternoon. It took one pitch for the game to end in the bottom of the 10th. It was not the game 7 of a hotly contested ALCS. It was even in front of less than 10,000 people, (EDIT - 4700 actually came through the turnstiles) and I'm willing to bet, that in the 10th inning, there were probably less than 3,000 left. (In his post game interview, Matsui said, "Hopefully it means another 100 show up tomorrow.") But Cotroneo called it like Bucky Dent just beat the Sawks. Unfortunately, the call on the highlight I can direct you here is Glen Kuiper, and it doesn't have the same magic, but take a look anyway.

Matsui Wins It for the A's

MLB Preview: Texas Rangers

The reigning AL Champs only went as pick number 8 in our draft, but they're ready to repeat in 2011, take it to the bank. More on this story later.

Like right now!

In 2010, the Rangers finally reached relevance. It only took almost 50 years. But hey, with Nolan Ryan calling the shots, who thought it wouldn't finally go their way.