MLB Preview - The Oakland Athletics

We've finally made it to the team picked first overall in the 2012 WITT draft, the Oakland A's. How did a team picked by many to be so bad this year make it to the top spot? They are undeniably my favorite, that's how. They're the greatest team no one cares about or watches. They've got spark. They've got spirit. They've got spunk. They've got a terrible stadium and terrible ownership and terrible cash flow. However, through it all, they still remain the A's, and there's something special about this ball club.

Maybe it's because the A's are like this man:



You can't really get angry at Modern Family's Phil Dunphy. He's an underdog. He's not always the smartest. He's not always the fastest. His ideas can be a bit harebrained. But, through it all, he charms you and warms you down to the cockles of your heart. That's what the A's are going to do this season. Why? Because it's really the only thing they have.

The A's have entered pretty well worn territory this year. Really put together a team that could be considered trite and contrived. However, when you put a ragtag bunch of misfits on the field, it's sure to draw a little attention. You know, away from all the stuff about how the A's are in a land war with the Giants and Uncle Bud isn't actually doing anything about it. And how they can't draw more than 12 people to a game. Yeah. We're doing something about that... in 2014.

#3 - The Texas Rangers

Everyone loves a bridesmaid. Right? That's how the saying goes. I think. I don't really have a mind for sayings, nor do I really want one. But, the Texas Rangers have been the Maid of Honor for the last two seasons. They've been the Quagmire to the Peter, the Sundance to the Butch Cassidy, the Tonto to the Lone Ranger, the silly, bumbling Frankie, to the dashing, heart throb Eric. God that Eric is one hot tamale. But enough about Eric and his startlingly good looks and charm, it's time to pay attention to that other also ran, the Rangers.

The Rangers have been the 2012 University of Kentucky Wildcats over the last two years. They've been a seeming juggernaut for the past two years, and won the past two AL pennants, which were their first two in the history of their franchise. Unfortunately, they fell short both times, once to the upstart San Francisco Giants, and once to the upstart St. Louis Cardinals. That's right, those damn foreign cities, like that damn Katniss from that upstart district 12, have gotten the best of the Capitol that represents the Texas Rangers.

First of all, I saw Hunger Games with Frankie. Second, my analogy makes way more sense and he should have not used it because the Pirates are terrible. And third, there's no way in hell the Pirates should be ranked ahead of the A's in power rankings on ESPN. But the biggest point here, is that the Rangers are still really, really good. The odds are definitely in their favor. That's right. The Rangers, the team that was borderline hilarious for most of their history until the last three years, has become something of an equivalent to the evilness that is the Yankees.

#5 - The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

We've made it to the top 5. For those of you who've stuck with us this far and read every preview, we appreciate you. For those of you reading your first preview, we appreciate you. You might say that we're full of appreciation. And if there's one team this year that deserves a bit of your appreciation, it's the Los Angeles Angels.

The Angels did exactly the opposite of the A's this season and spent a ton of money. How much money, you ask? They gave Albert Pujols $240 Million. They gave CJ Wilson 77.5 Millon. They still owe Vernon Wells about 60 Million. They gave Jered Weaver 85 Million. They owe Torii Hunter 18 Million, and Bobby Abreu 9 Million. Did you get all that? Their payroll of about 138 million this year ranks fourth in the majors. It is double what the A's pay their roster.

Needless to say, I now think Arte Moreno looks like this:

#7 - The Detroit Tigers

So just when I thought I could play some video games and then take a nice nap before waking up at 2:50 to attempt to watch opening day. That's right, the 2012 baseball season starts today. Though if you were to look at MLB.com, you would barely know. That's right, I have some hate for Bud Selig right now, but I'll do my best to leave that out, and focus on the Detroit Tigers

The Tigers have quietly become one of my favorite teams outside of the A's as of late, and I hope to explain to myself why as I write this preview. Though I really didn't appreciate seeing the Magglio walkoff against my A's in the 2006 ALCS played over and over last year, the Tigers have a lot of pieces to like.

I wrote last year how Detroit had become something of a depressed sports city, but that turned around last year. The Tigers reached the ALCS, and even the lowly Lions made the playoffs. That's right, like Clint Eastwood says, it's the Fourth Quarter America, and it's time for the Tigers to shine.



Yeah, his logic isn't that good, but I never claimed to be very bright either. And when a man wear's his pants that high, you know he must be right.

#9 - Tampa Bay Rays

That's right, the team that went first in our draft out of the AL East was not the Red Sox, nor was it the Yankees. It was the Tampa Bay Rays, who, over the past few years, have played the most exciting baseball that no one ever watches. Really, last year they averaged on 18,878 fans per game. That number is good for 29th in the league, only better than the Oakland A's. The difference is that with a record of 91-71, that means the Rays averaged 207 fans per win on their average attendance. The A's earned 246 fans for each of their 74 wins.

So why don't Floridans embrace this franchise that has been in the playoffs 3 of the past four years? Why don't they show up by the boatload to see this team that has won 2 AL East crowns and an AL Pennant in the last four years? The world may never know.

But one can still make conjectures. Their park, the Trop, is an eyesore. The Tampa Bay area has only been a baseball city since 1998, and until about 2007, the team was the butt of every joke in major league baseball. Until 2008, they had only won 70 games once in their history. I think these fans either can't believe, or are just largely unaware that this team exists. After suffering through about a decade of ineptitude, the Rays have become one of the top teams in the league. They've developed a bevy of young talent and succeeded with it. Last year was admittedly a "rebuilding" year, but with all the talent, they made winning 91 look easy. Still, no one came to the park, and I know why. Steve Irwin.

#11 - The New York Yankees

That's right, the Yankees didn't crack the top ten. In case you don't remember from last year's post or you've never talked to me about baseball. I hate the Yankees. I hate them because they are a Goliath in the sports world whose level of success can't be compared to any other professional American franchise. To reiterate, the Yankees have won the AL Pennant 40 times in 109 tries. It's obscene. It's enough to drive any sports fan in any other city nuts. And in at least one case, I know it to be very, very true.

The Yankees are the kings of the majors. If you ask anyone in America to name a baseball team, chances are that they know the Yankees, even if they can't name the team in their own backyard. Yes, I know that my extreme dislike of the Yankees is based in envy. I want my team to have that level of success year in and year out that makes me believe we're failed if we didn't win the World Series. I want to know that my ownership is willing to spend obscene amounts of money to get players they have no business signing. I want my roster to have players that all have contact and power ratings of 85 instead of 65 in video games. It makes them so much easier to play.

But most of all, I hate Derek Jeter. I hate his smug smile. I hate his five World Championship rings. I hate the fact that he's going to be a first ballot hall of famer. I hate that he represents everything Yankee. I especially dislike the fact that he is a truly good human being who plays the game well and shows up every day with a smile. God I'm jealous of him too. Although, I am not jealous of his taco shop. It sounds terrible.

#13 - The Boston Red Sox

The Boston Red Sox, like the Braves, narrowly missed the playoffs last year after blowing a seemingly unblowable lead. The Red Sox were 83-53 om September first. They were first in the AL East by a half game, and they were 9 games ahead of the Rays. Not only that, but they had 7 games to play against the Rays. Surely, they would be able to at least split that series, leaving the Rays far behind. But it wasn't to be. The Red Sox went 1-6 over those two series in September. For the month, they went 7-17. A quick images search for "boston choke" reveals this, and I find it quite appropriate.



Yes, like the great James Tiberius Kirk chokes when he doesn't have oxygen to breathe, the Red Sox choked when their team couldn't stay on the field, and was happier to sit in the clubhouse drinking beers during the game. Reports came out that Manager Terry Francona no longer had control of his team. It also didn't help that 10 different pitchers made starts for the Red Sox over the course of the season. 11 different players took a turn starting the game in the outfield. All this turnover and uncertainty, as well as drunkenness resulted in something we all know too well:

#15 - The Atlanta Braves

According to an Adult Swim bump, Atlanta is the worst sports city in the nation. They've taken home one championship in 153 combined years of professional sports. You might call them just the worst. That's right, Atlanta is worse than Cleveland, which actually only ranked 8th, but fittingly, the Braves beat the Indians for the only Atlanta championship. What I'm trying to say here is, it's not always that much fun to be a Braves fan, unless of course you want to talk smack on the Pirates.

Frankie posted this little bitty video last year, but I always enjoy taking the opportunity to remind him of the last time the Pirates were good and how they let it slip through their fingers and turned it into one of the greatest moments in Braves franchise history.



Of course, without the help of the Braves and one Mr. Brooks Conrad, the Giants would not have been able to experience one of the greatest moments in their franchise history. So, I guess the Braves have a love hate relationship with all those Pirates/Giants fans in the world. Since there are all of maybe one of those in the country, at least he can be conflicted.

#17 - The Chicago White Sox

The last time I spoke to you, it was about the nice north side of Chicago, we now turn our attention to the South Side, where the real Chicago is. There was a lot of doom and gloom in that post. Surely Chicago can't have two teams that will struggle all summer. The ChiSox have to have a bit more going for them, right?

Well.... not really. I'm telling you right now... there are a lot of red flags that say it's going to be a long summer in the Windy City. The White Sox finished 2011 at 79-83, nine games worse than 2010, and I don't believe they added enough pieces in the offseason to be a contender in what will be a very weak AL Central in 2012. This is mostly because they actually didn't add any pieces. Even at the time I'm writing this, the White Sox are 2-7 in Cactus league play, and we described in an MLB.com article yesterday as "hapless". This franchise might be in trouble.


At least Ozzie is gone, maybe now the kittens will be spared.

The biggest move Chicago made this offseason was letting Ozzie Guillen go to the fish and letting Robin Ventura become their new manager. Guillen was fiery and fun and gave the media plenty to talk about, but was about as stable as this:

#19 - The Chicago Cubs

I'm sorry Cubs fans, I'm distracted this evening. It didn't help that when I looked at the roster, the best word to describe my feeling was "unimpressed". Look, I think of the Cubs as a very proud franchise. I think of Ernie Banks. I think of Johnny Evers. I think of Ryne Sandberg. I'm not sure I yet think of Geovany Soto as an heir to Mr. Cub, and I don't see this team getting past the regular season.

This year will be a facelift for Chicago. They've hired new general manager Theo Epstein. If the man can break the Curse of the Bambino like he did in Boston, he's probably the person best suited to breaking the Billy Goat Curse in Chicago. This year, however, we may see some growing pains.

It's too bad for Chicago. They've got so many good things going for them. Ferris Bueller, The Blues Brothers, Second City Comedy, Lake Michigan, The El Train, That Cloud Thing, Mayor Daly.... the list goes on... but it's all what was, or what is, and they're not things that will influence the 2012 Cubs.

So what will? Will it be this?



Or this?



Bonus points if you can tell one from the other. (Hint: they are actually the same)

#21 - The Toronto Blue Jays

We finish out our first third of the 2012 MLB landscape today with the preview of the Jays. It's been 20 years since we heard, "Touch 'em all Joe, you'll never hit a bigger home run in your life." But it could happen again. Hailing from the frozen north, the Blue Jays have the privilege of being that other bird team in the division totally dominated by the Yankees and Red Sox, and then in recent years, the Rays. This means, just like their sick Canadian heritage suggests, they're totally liable to launch a sneak attack on happy, unsuspecting, innocent Americans. It will be just like in the brilliant hypothetical film, South Park: The Movie. Remember, they bombed the Baldwins. And look how ridiculous their royal weddings are:

Royal Pudding
Get More: SOUTH
PARKIke Broflovski,Terrance,Phillip,more...

And lest we forget Bryan Adams..... never forget Bryan Adams..... and the horror he has brought upon the world.

Bryan Adams At His Worst

Yes, Canada has been the scourge of America since the Americans failed to defeat them in the War of 1812. Unfortunately, we've had to coexist peacefully. We've even had to share our sport with them, and though they tried to return the favor with the export of hockey, we all know which is the superior game.

It's not that Canada is a barren wasteland, but, it's kind of a barren wasteland. But all kidding aside. They have given the world some great things, like maple syrup, maple leaves, maple candy, Conan O'Brien and maple trees. Oh, and the Blue Jays. The Blue Jays were my dark horse of the East last year, and I think they've earned that credit again.

#23 - The Minnesota Twins

It's hard to believe that the cellar dwellers of the American League made it to #23, but they did. With only 63 wins and not a single 10 game winner on the pitching staff, the Twins were the doormat of the AL in 2011. So, what happened to the Twins team that Frankie and I thought had a chance at winning their division and quite possibly winning the AL Pennant? A lot. Injuries mostly. But the Twins have come out swinging in 2012, and with some retooling and a youth movement on the way, the Twins are ready to make some noise in the AL Central.

Like, really? Twins ahead of the Brewers? How did we let this happen. Did Frankie and I take crazy pills? Yes, we did. But maybe it was because yesterday was Leap Day, and nothing counts on Leap Day. But today is March 1st, and real life has to begin. Real life hit home in Minneapolis/St. Paul last year when their two best players only played a combined 151 games. So which Twins team will show up this year? A healthy one with promise, poise, and power, or the runt with compromised morals and a stupid ponytail?

#25 - The Seattle Mariners

As Frankie has once again fallen asleep at the wheel, you all get to read about the Seattle Mariners one day before you were supposed to. Think of it like a sneak peak of that movie you saw that preview for and weren't really interested but, hey, two free passes came your way and you have nothing else to do Tuesday night and could "The Vow" really be that bad? (It is.) Are the Mariners that bad? Well, no, nothing is that bad, and the Mariners are going to be quite competitive in 2012.

2011, like the previous year, was not kind to the Mariners. They finished second worst in the AL at 67-95, and finished dead last in the majors with a .233 average. They also finished last in on-base percentage and slugging percentage. Pitching was a little bit better. They finished 15th in the majors with a 3.90 ERA. Unfortunately, two of the big pieces of the rotation, Doug Fister and Miguel Pineda are now with the Tigers and Yankees, respectively. It's got to get better though, right? It's probably Jesus. And those piercing eyes...

#27 - The Houston Astros

The Houston Astros actually jumped two spots from last year's draft to #27. That's a pretty strong showing for a team that finished with only 56 wins last year. Last in the majors and a full seven games worse than the next team. So why did the Astros get a little bump? Because this is their last year in the NL Central, and their reloading team is going to use 2012 as a launch pad to the AL West, and I'm sure all you A's fans out there want to know what to look out for.

It's a good thing the Astros are getting out of the Central. Though they did win the NL Pennant in 2005, they've recently struggled to compete against the likes of the Cardinals, Brewers, Reds, and Cubs. However, AL West fans, this Astro team is not a doormat, and they're going to enter the wild west with guns blazing, wanting to prove themselves against what has become an elite division.

The roller coaster the Astros have been on over the last decade is pretty unbelievable. They went from best in the NL and a new ballpark to worst in the majors and a team for sale. Now that the new ownership is in place, this is a team with new direction, new hope, and a new desire to win.... and a new logo/mascot perhaps?



The Astros started last last season 0-5 and were never over .500 once the entire season. Sound familiar? It should. They started 2010 0-6, but unlike 2010, they were never able to right the ship. They had some good pieces that will be back this season, but really, 2012 will be a work in progress for the 'Stros.

Bud Selig Doing His Best To Ruin Baseball

I completely disagree with the decision to extend the playoffs to ten teams. That's pretty much the crux of it.

If you haven't yet heard, Selig is going to have the wildcard berth be decided by a one game playoff between the top two non-division record teams in each league. It cheapens everything.

Baseball has the greatest playoff system of North American professional sports. Only eight out of thirty teams make the playoffs. At 27%, it's the lowest percentage of playoff teams of any major sport, and it makes the long 162 game season mean something. In the NBA, does anyone pay attention to the regular season until there's about 30 games left? No. It doesn't matter. Do people always pay attention to all 162 games of the MLB? No, but every one of those games matter. Adding the two teams only cheapens it.

Flash back to the last day of the regular season this year. With Tampa Bay and St. Louis completing impossible comebacks in dramatic fashion to secure their wildcard births. That night doesn't happen. Both all of those teams rest their starters to wait for the playoff. Now, maybe the playoff provides drama of its own, but why fix what ain't broke?

Next argument: it means that more teams are competitive longer. Meaning September attendance numbers should be up at a few more stadiums. Maybe. But when I looked at the top three finishers in the Wildcard in each league over the last ten years, more often then not the disparity is wide enough that adding a fifth team doesn't add much in the way of competitiveness. Also, there are plenty of times where a team gets penalized for winning. Take the 2002 Angels, for example. If a fifth team was in the playoffs, their 99 regular season wins would have meant nothing if they lose one game against the 93 win Red Sox or Mariners, who would have had to play their own playoff. So yeah, it creates some drama of its own. But the next best team? The 81 win White Sox. Not too much more drama late in the season.

And it penalizes that wild card team. Remember, the wildcard was created after expansion had happened long before, and really occurred because the 103 win Giants lost the West division crown to the 104 win Braves (East Division champion Phillies only won 97 games). Why should the Wildcard team have to trot out its ace against a team that won 6 games less than them in the regular season. I suppose you could argue that the division winners should have some sort of advantage, however, this system almost guarantees that you won't see a 02 Angels, 01 Diamondbacks, 11 Cardinals, or 04 Red Sox. Imagine playing the best team in your league and not getting to use your ace twice while the other teams get an extra day to rest up. Ridiculous.

I know just the fact that the playoffs exist, no matter what the format, there will be drama, there will be fun. However, when you look at what has happened since the expansion to the 8 team format, there's not much argument for a second wild card team. And when you get down to it, and you ask why is baseball doing this, you come to the obvious answer. Money.

More butts in seats, more television contracts, more advertising, more sponsorships. More dough. Another set of tradition set aside for the sole purpose of generating more money. It's sickening. So, to Mr. Selig and the baseball owners, I hope you sleep better at night after deciding to cheapen America's pastime.

Because I like weekends: But I'm No Nostradamus

You could say I did get 3 of those predictions right and 2 half right last weekend. So I actually feel pretty good about my performance. The Rays are still 2 games back of the Red Sox. Cam Newton, though passing for an obscene amount of yards, threw three interceptions and did not earn a win. The Steelers didn't have as much trouble as I thought, but did win. Florida State was destroyed. The 'Canes beat OSU, but by a lot more than I thought they would.

So, needless to say, I'm still the smartest man alive. Well, not really, but I did ok.

Scott Stapp attempts to ruin baseball

Well, we thought we had vanquished Creed and everything it stood for. But, it's back, with a vengeance. Eat your heart out Marlins PR team.

The Trade Deadline: Report Card

July 31st. For a baseball fan, it's like Christmas in July. Either your team buys a piece or two to make the push towards the playoffs, or your team calls it a season and adds money or prospects to make a run for next season. Either way, most teams and fans go home feeling like their team has done something in order to make it better either for the now or for the future.

Every deadline there are a few big splashes. This year: Ubaldo, Beltran, Pence, and K-Rod, and Bedard were some of the larger names to change hands. Now, reflecting on the deals a few days later, here's who we think some of the winners and losers were this trade season.

A's fans might know a bit more about this face soon.

All-Star Break Update: Prophet or Not?

We're more than half way through the 2011 MLB season. Hard to believe? Yes. Slightly depressing? Definitely. Starting to chafe? You have no idea.

Anywho, the All-Star break is good for a lot of things. It's a chance for players to rest mentally and physically, as well as catch up with their families and friends. For the outside spectator, it's a good opportunity to look back on the first half, see how far we've come, and look toward the future and all that lies ahead.

Before the season started Eric and I made some bold predictions as to how the season would pan out. In addition to major award winners, we picked our division winners and eventual World Series Champions. Some predictions are looking pretty good (Adrian Gonzalez for AL MVP), while others are losing steam (Oakland A's for World Series Champions).

We want to take this opportunity to look back on our picks, reward ourselves for our prophetic foresight, and if need be, modify those prophesies for the second half. For if Harold Camping taught us anything, it's that if your predictions don't come true, make a new prediction.

All-Star Game: How to Ruin a Great Game

The MLB All-Star Game was the most beautiful thing in sports. The Mid-Summer Classic. Right in the heat of July, everyone takes a break and watches the stars come out to play a fun EXHIBITION game.

You may have noticed I capitalized exhibition. This is because it is what I believe to be the true spirit of the game. It is supposed to be a fun and fancy-free afternoon to go see the games greatest play ball. Unfortunately, 2002 happened.

In 2002, the NL and the AL ended the 12th inning locked in a 7-7 tie. So what? Keep playing until someone wins, right? Wrong. Bud Selig decided to call the game. Why? Both NL Manager Bob Brenly and AL Manager Joe Torre had managed the game like games of the past. They used one pitcher an inning, and by the 12th, they had none left.