At the End of the Big Sleep

Yeah, I know. It's been a long time since I've had anything to say. So, here's a recap:

The A's did really bad, then they did really good, now they're doing sort of good, and with a little faith they just might hold on to win a spot in the Wildcard game.

The Giants have done good, pretty much the whole time. They're in. Buster Posey is good. Pablo Sandoval is fat. Timmy kind of knows what is going on and definitely misses his bong. Melky is a bad man, but so is Bartolo.

The Angels and Dodgers are underperforming. It makes everyone happy. By everyone I mean me and Frankie, and decidedly not Jon.

The football replacement referees were terrible. The NFL should probably be ashamed for the way they handled the situation, just like Bud Selig should be ashamed of everything he has ever done ever or will ever do.

Oh yeah, the Olympics happened, and just like every four years, everyone in the US gets excited about gymnastics, swimming, and dressage, and then promptly forgets that they exist. So that's fun for everybody too.

So yes, it has been a big sleep for Misters Frankie and Eric. We're busy men. So sue us. But I awaken, like the immortal kraken. And not that lame kraken in Pirates of the Caribbean, we're talking Clash of the Titans starring Harry Hamlin kraken.

Seriously, how hot is Harry Hamlin? And Bubo?

Yeah, you'll have to look up the kraken on your own. I, like I assume most of you are, am most interested in Harry Hamlin's right nipple.

But that's not the point here. The point here is that yours truly was the victim of a random act of violence yesterday evening, and it got me to thinking. And I know what you're thinking. Thinking is something I should do all the time. Well, it isn't.

Anyway, sports are pretty freaking amazing. After all the turmoil I went through last night, I was able to completely lose my self for a few hours this morning in meaningful Oakland Athletic September baseball. They lost, but still, it was a welcome distraction. The fact that we can all be consumed by sports, and that every day we can talk about them over the water cooler is something that levels the playing field each day.

Get excited about the A's and Giants. They're both going to the playoffs. But the A's need your help. They've got six at home this weekend and next week. They've got three against Seattle, then three against Texas. Go to the games. Send them good vibes. They can do this. We have to believe.

Finally, here's what I would like to say to the two nice gentlemen who decided to bump into me last night. Warning, NSFW.